Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
by MaXdana
Summary: AU. There's a saying that goes, "When you can't beat them, join them," and Sakura never would have thought that meant join up with two former members of the Akatsuki to take down the remainder of the group once and for all. HidaSaku and slight DeiSaku.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If this is your first time reading this fic, welcome :) If not, glad you came back. I'm making lots of changes. Not so much in these first two chapters, but three and on are basically completely different from what I originally wrote.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any quotes used at the beginning of chapters. The title is a song by U2, which I also do not own.**

**AU**

**If you do not know what AU is, it stands for Alternate Universe. People use it differently. In this story's ****case, it takes place in a similar world to Naruto (we have the villages and groups like the Akatsuki), but they don't use ninjutsu or anything of that nature, and there is no modern technology.**

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><p><strong>Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me<strong>

**Chapter One**

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_"Secrets are made to be found out with time."_  
>Charles Sanford<p>

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Sitting around the few roaring fires scattered about the camp, the men told their stories of the battle that took place not long ago. Some exclaimed how heroically they had acted to save their fellow soldiers, or took down more men than they could count with one fatal swing of their blade. They inhaled the bland porridge - only because it had been days since they had had more than a little sliver of stale bread, and it might have been one of the last few hot meals they would have before going into battle once again - and drank down enough liquor to keep themselves warm and well spirited.

Instead of picking fights, or doing anything that could sour the good mood, the men sang joyously without a single care in the world. One of the younger men, Naruto, paused in the middle of the tune when he noticed the small light flickering in a tent off on its own. It looked out of place in the open area. He slowly rose from his seat by the warm fire to go inspect, curious to see who it was.

The cold hit him hard as he strayed away, but he ignored the chill and carefully crept up to the tent. Just like all the others in the camp, it was a light beige canvas, and held up only by a few poles. It served its purpose, so there was no room for complaint.

Not wanting to frighten the one inside, he quietly called out, "I don't understand why you'd want to be all by yourself. You should join the others by the fire." Small puffs of air circled his head as he spoke, creating a wispy halo.

Naruto brushed his blonde hair of his forehead and leaned in closer to one of the sides of the tent. It sounded like they were scrambling about and fussing with their things, making Naruto even more interested.

"What is it that you're doing in there? Hm?" Naruto began to pull apart the folds of the canvas to take a glance inside. "Hiding something?" It was at that moment he had a pillow thrown into his face. A pillow that felt more like a rock, that is.

He yelped as he stumbled back, but remained upright on his feet. After inspecting his nose, he said, "I'm sorry, Saburo. Didn't mean you any harm." Naruto made sure he kept his distance from the tent, not wanting anything else thrown at him and possibly causing any more damage than a slightly bruised nose.

It was after a few seconds that a meek, "It's alright," could be heard from inside the tent. Naruto visibly relaxed, relieved he had not upset one of the few members of his unit too badly.

Naruto kicked a stone by his foot and slid his hands into his pockets to keep his fingers from freezing. "You going to come out and join the others? Neji and Kiba have been asking about you, ya know. Even Sasuke, and you know how he is."

It was quiet, except for the chatter in the background and the rustling of the trees. Naruto began to flip a coin lazily in his pocket.

"Saburo?"

"I'm going to try and get some rest," he replied sharply. "I'm not feeling well."

Naruto took a hesitant step forward. "Look," he began, starting to feel a bit crossed since he was kind enough to see if Saburo was feeling well only to have him snap at him. "What happened earlier wasn't your fault – it wasn't anyone's fault. It's impossible to avoid death in a war. You shouldn't let it eat at you like this."

After some reassuring to Naruto that that wasn't what had been bothering him, and that he truly was at his rope's end, Naruto reluctantly left Saburo alone in his tent and joined the others around the fire. Saburo let out a sigh he had been holding when he heard the footsteps fade away and fell back onto his blankets.

"I don't know if I can hide this much longer," Sakura mumbled in her own voice, almost sounding as if she were on the verge of tears. It was time to turn off Saburo mode and turn on Sakura, or it's-OK-to-get-emotional-about-everything, mode. With everything that was going on, it was understandable that she was beginning to feel a little worked up; hiding the fact that she was a woman and not some smelly man to an entire army; trying not to get killed when she had five-hundred ton men, plus their horse, chasing after her; and that it was her fault a man was killed while he tried helping her out.

Men were always dying in battle - that's just how it was- but in that case it didn't have to happen. If only she had been a little quicker. She could have saved him.

Sakura figured she had survival's guilt eating at her, but Naruto was right; she couldn't let it bother her. What's done is done and she can't change the past, so it's best to stop wallowing in self pity and get on with life.

It still bothered her, though.

Trying to put the rather unpleasant memory aside, Sakura finished wrapping the bandages around her chest, tucked in the end, and pulled on a clean shirt. Most of the clothes she had were a few sizes too big, but having something a little too clingy and showing off her "womanly figure" was risking too much. She was already teased by the others about her "girly face." The boots Sakura wore were lined with beaver fur, so it kept her toes from falling off in the chilly weather, and she always tried to keep her wool cap on. Not only did it protect her ears from the wind, but it kept her hair up and out of everything. Sakura had refused to cut it when she joined, since it was already short enough at shoulder length, so she opted with keeping it up and dying it. The latter was almost painful to do; she actually quite liked her pink hair. It was so unique, but it stood out too much, so she had it dyed a light brown. Not to mention, she had to make sure she kept on top with dying it. Pink roots were a little obvious.

The men outside seemed to have calmed themselves considerably, probably heading back to their own tents, and Sakura found it easier to settle herself down. Instead of using the rock-hard pillow she had thrown at Naruto earlier, she curled up against her sack of clothes, and lulled herself to sleep.

When morning arrived, she was not awakened by the sun shining through her tent, nor the stirring of other men, but someone shaking her roughly by the shoulders and yelling at her to get up. Sakura grunted when they dropped her back to the ground. Then her whole body jerked forward when they kicked her in the side.

She growled out, "What the hell!"

"Get up. Now!" Sasuke barked, throwing her bags out of her tent simultaneously.

Sakura scrambled out of the tent, passed Sasuke, and began to shoulder her bags.

"What's going on?" she asked, trying her best not to show Sasuke how irritated she was with him at the moment.

He stepped up to Sakura, having at least a foot on her, and looked down at her. His black eyes hardened. "Those damn bastards are on their way here. And they brought some friends with them." The latter was said with so much malice, Sakura felt herself cowering away.

"What are we going to do?" She was so quiet, Sasuke couldn't tell whether or not that question was directed at him. "We were barely able to keep up with them last time, and there are still so many recovering from their wounds."

Instead of an answer, Sasuke grabbed Sakura by the elbow, ignoring her protests, and dragged her to where her horse was kept.

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It had been awhile since there had been a good snowfall (the soldiers were glad that that was the case), and the temperature wasn't as nippy as it was earlier, so the snow was just an icy mess at that point, making it very difficult to weave in and out of the trees. There were no previous paths, so the horses had to trudge through the slush. The sun was high in the sky by the time everyone began to make their way through the surrounding forest, blinding anyone who gazed too long at the cloudless sky.

Sakura sat perched on her horse, a chestnut mare, practically falling asleep in the saddle. The horse needed no directing to know that she needed to follow behind the rest of Sakura's unit; Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, and Naruto. Her head began to nod forward, and she woke with a start.

Kiba glanced behind when he heard her and laughed. "Come on, now. You can't be that tired."

"You got more sleep then the rest of us, Saburo," interjected Neji "You should be bounding ahead of us." Neji, a rather unpleasant guy most of the time, looked back at her briefly before returning his attention back ahead. She could have sworn she saw a slight narrowing of his eyes as his gaze met hers.

Sakura, A.K.A Saburo, sniffed. "Yeah, well..." She trailed off, not having a good enough excuse.

"How much longer till we hit the clearing, Sasuke?" Wanting nothing more with Neji, Sakura aimed her questioned at the leader of their squad.

He never turned around, or even made any kind of sign that he had heard her, until he answered with, "I don't know." And that was all he said.

Naruto, up until that point, had stayed out of all conversations. For once, he had not been in the mood to talk – no one was quite sure as to why - but when he heard Sasuke say that, he nudged his horse forward to ride along side him.

"Hey, wait a second," Naruto began, almost sounding a little frantic. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sasuke sped up and placed himself right in front of Naruto's horse. "Exactly what I said. I don't know," Sasuke replied, enunciating the last phrase to the point of redundancy.

Despite always having to know everything there was about what they were doing, Sasuke was unusually calm, and it made the others feel uncertain about the situation.

Naruto looked at him dubiously. "So are we lost?"

"No."

"Then-"

"Naruto, can you just give it a rest?" Kiba interjected, fed up with Naruto and his game of twenty questions.

The group fell silent, and Naruto slowly fell behind till he was in front of Sakura, who was last in their file.

Just as Sakura was about to close her eyes again, she heard a loud _Snap! _off towards her side, and she instinctively reached for the dagger at her hip. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see something quickly cover itself behind one of the trees. At least, that's what she thought she saw. The others up ahead tensed, and Sasuke came to a halt; everyone followed suit.

Raising a hand to signal everyone to remain silent, Sasuke slid off his horse, unsheathed his sword, and walked towards the sound with caution. The ice cracked loudly under his weight. Sasuke side stepped into the hoof prints of the horses, which made a little less noise, and then became stock still. Sakura's grip tightened on the handle, not sure if he had seen something. The others up ahead were about to get off their own horses until Sasuke relaxed and made his way back over to his horse. The tip of his sword tapped twice against the ice before Sasuke sheathed it.

"Just some animal," he mumbled as he passed Sakura. Her hands slowly grasped the reins of her horse.

Before they continued on, Sasuke added as he pulled himself up onto his horse, "Saburo, I don't want you fighting unless it's absolutely necessary. You're the only one in our group with some medical experience. We can't risk you getting injured _or _killed." The other three men looked back at her with blank expressions. She bit her tongue to prevent herself from making any kind of smart remark.

"Of course," she said, trying to keep her voice even.

Sasuke nodded to himself. "Good. Now, let's go."

Nudging his horse forward, Sasuke led the group onward, but Sakura remained put. She could feel her horse beneath her wanting to move, but after a small jerk on the reins the mare stilled.

There was no way it was animal. She was sure of it. Judging from the way it moved, it was no animal she was familiar with. Her only guess was that it was human and not someone on their side. Attempting at being discreet, Sakura moved her eyes in their sockets to the tree she saw the creature hide behind and saw no movement. Not much of a surprise there. When she looked forward again she could still see her group moving at their slow pace, and she concluded that if something were to happen they would be able to ride back in time.

Sakura slid her feet out of the stirrups and grabbed onto the top of the saddle before gently sliding off, barely making a sound as she fell into one of the horse's prints. She gave her horse a small pat on her rump, and the mare obediently trotted forward to catch up with the group.

The dagger at her side began to feel as if it weighed tons, and her heart beat frantically in her ear. She kept her breathing to a minimum, despite feeling like she was suffocating, because she was so frightened at the idea of the one out here with her could hear just a small sigh. Stepping around the bare bushes and the trees that stretched high towards the sky, Sakura carefully stepped onto the icy surface of the snow, creating a low hum of echoes all around her. Sakura paused to allow the noise to die down, but then it started up again. She was not moving. Spinning around to the left, then to the right, trying to get a glimpse at whoever was approaching her, she saw no one. The dagger that normally never found itself outside of its scabbard was pointed straight out in front of Sakura.

The noise stopped.

Sakura swallowed hard. "W-who's there...?" Her voice shook, despite all efforts to keep it relaxed. Her body felt as if it had drastically dropped in temperature, and she began to shiver.

"Boo." Their breathe was hot against her neck. Her eyes widened at the initial shock of having them walk up behind her without her realizing, but Sakura quickly turned, dagger in hand, to try and get one good hit on them.

Knowing what she had in mind, they grabbed her wrist and squeezed it hard. Sakura gasped and dropped her weapon as she tried to free herself. At her attempt to kick them, they pushed her to the side, her wrist still in their grasp, and grabbed the other, pinning both arms painfully against her back. They shoved her to the ground, pushing her face into the snow.

"Do anything to get your friends running back here and I'll have no second thoughts on killing you." He pushed her face further into the snow. "Got it?"

He took her silence as a yes, and yanked Sakura to her feet. "Good. We'll get along fine then," he sneered.

The only thing running through Sakura's head at that moment was _I'm so fucking screwed_.

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><p><strong>AN: So there it is. Hope you all liked it :) And thank you, YouStoleMySocks, for looking this over for me.**

**I'm sure someone noticed there are no longer OCs. Hope that is alright.**

**Total Words: 2632**

_**MaXdana**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me**

**Chapter Two**

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"_They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."_

Carl W. Buechner

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Sakura wasn't exactly sure how much time had gone by. While it appeared that the sun still had some ways to go before setting, it had already sunk towards the horizon fairly far. Her captor - his face still not revealed to her - had her walk in the opposite direction her team was moving, but not towards their old camp, either. He had not spoken to her since their encounter, but he made the occasional noise of irritation when he heard someone, or something, in the distance and had to make sure they couldn't be seen. His hand was still tightly grasping both her wrists behind her back, and he would push her face first into a tree – probably to keep her quiet and to just piss her off – until he was sure whoever, or whatever for that matter, was there had passed.

He was most likely on his own out here. That made Sakura wonder where the rest of his men were, if not in the woods. From what she knew, the enemy was heading for their old camp site, unless they had heard of their plans, which she found unlikely (more so that she hoped). She couldn't think of any way that the information was leaked, unless there was a spy amongst them. The thought made her feel sick.

Stumbling over an exposed root of a tree, Sakura nearly fell to her knees, and she silently cursed the world. The man held her up and then pushed her forward, almost causing her to lose her balance again. She huffed, and the man smirked.

"What? If you're angry with me, then fucking do something about it." She could tell he was enjoying himself. She reminded herself that it could be must worse, so she ignored his comment, figuring it was best to just let it go.

A low chuckle emanated from the back of his throat, and Sakura felt herself shrinking, afraid of what was going through his mind.

"Well, damn. It's not any fun if you don't fight back." Sakura bit her tongue. "What? Not going to talk?" She could taste blood. "You won't be worth anything to me if you don't talk." He stopped and spun Sakura around, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt and pulling her face towards his.

Her breath hitched in her throat as his face was finally revealed to her.

"But, then again, I could always make you. Your choice."

The man's eyes, an unnatural shade of purple, gleamed dangerously in the light, like a sword ready to strike. His silver hair was slicked back out of his face except for one piece that rested against his forehead, most likely falling out of place during their walk. Sakura could see the muscles in his face move beneath his pale skin as he scrutinized her, and one silver brow arched upward when he saw her eyes move from the missing chunk of his ear to his chest.

Sakura's heart sank at the sight of the pendant around his neck.

"You're..." She couldn't finish her thought.

His face twisted in anger, and he threw her down to the ground. He spat at her feet.

"Tch. I can't stand it – that look."

He walked up to her and stepped down on her hand, digging his heel into her skin, a crazed look distorting his handsome face. She writhed beneath the pressure, and tried to pull herself free. The pain shot up her arm, and she just wanted to scream.

Stepping down with even more pressure, he began to laugh, sounding delighted by her distress. "You know, you would be much more useful as a sacrifice!" Sakura's heart was about to leap out of her chest when she saw his hand slide to the sword at his side. "Scream all you want. No one will come."

He had already begun to pull out his sword when Sakura's body took over her mind, and she kicked upward as hard as she could between his legs. The man doubled over in pain, cursing loudly, before lashing out at her. Sakura had already managed to get a good distance away when he could finally get to his feet, and she was praying she could find someplace to hide, since there was no way she could outrun him.

The thicket of trees thinned until she hit a clearing where only the ice covered its surface. She only hesitated until she heard the man calling out to her. And he sounded close.

"You damn son-of-a-bitch! I swear, I'll kill you with my bare hands!" He sounded like an animal mad with hunger.

Not wanting him to get any closer, she began to run straight through the clearing, her feet pounding onto the ice. When she was almost halfway through, her heel hit the ice at an odd angle, and Sakura slid back. She waved her arms frantically about in a feeble attempt to catch her balance. She had fallen onto her rear, which quickly numbed by both the cold and the hardness of the ice, before spinning her head around to see where he could be. Sakura found him at the edge of the lining of trees. Not being able to see his face, she couldn't guess what he could possibly be thinking.

He slowly stepped forward, and Sakura rose to her feet, ignoring the pain in her lower half. She did not let her eyes leave him.

She could see that his shoulders were shaking, and Sakura almost called out to him, just to see what was so funny. Was it because she had fallen? She highly doubted it.

The sword at his side was now pointed at the ground, and she threw him a questioning look, despite knowing he could not see it.

"Do you know what you're standing on?" He laughed even harder now. "It's _ice_. A _pond - _frozen solid over the winter, but now slowly thawing." The man walked onto the edge of the frozen pond as he held his sword high above his head, and Sakura began to back up even further.

"Enjoy your swim."

He laughed maniacally as he plunged the sword deep into the ice. The vast cracks formed quickly and extended outwards towards a panicking Sakura. She couldn't swim that well, and in water this cold, she wouldn't be able to last for more than a few minutes - that is, if she were lucky. There was no way she could just run off now – not with the ice as unstable as it was – so she just stood there, trying her best not to flinch when one crack collided with her shoe. She raised her chin to get a glimpse of the man, who seemed to be upset that his idea hadn't worked out the way he had planned, and then back down at the ice.

At this point, even if she could get off safely, he would be waiting for her no matter which way she went.

And there was no way he was going to just let her go, or live, for that matter.

"Fuck,"she mumbled, at a complete loss as to what she should do.

Very annoyed at that point, the man hoisted his sword high above his head, preparing himself to repeat the process, until a low grumble rang out in front of him. Out in the center of the pond, Sakura was tilting from side to side before falling forward. The break in the ice gave in, and she plunged into the subzero water below.

The water hit her like a thousand pins. It was so cold that it _burned_ her skin, and she shrieked, not being able to hold her cries in any longer. As best as she could, Sakura tried to keep her head above the surface, but it did her no good, since it felt as if her lungs had collapsed and that her limbs were made of lead. The darkening sky was soon a blur, and the last thing she could remember seeing was a dark figure looming over the edge.

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Her body was on fire. She could feel the sweat coating her skin. It dripped from her hairline into her eyes and down her back in a pool beneath her. Never in her life had she felt as disgusting as she did now, but it could not compare to the pain that coursed throughout her body. She felt as if she were dying, and if she wasn't, Sakura hoped she would, because she would not be able to tolerate the pain for much longer.

Sakura passed out without her realization, and it would be hours until she would be conscious again.

The next time she came to, her fingers twitched at her sides. She moaned. Her whole body ached, and she couldn't remember exactly what she had done earlier to feel like that.

Sakura realized that someone was talking. She was having trouble making out what they were saying and wondered for a second if she was dreaming.

"-uro?"

Sakura cracked an eye open.

"Hey, she's awake! Saburo, can you hear me?" Someone was now leaning over her, poking a finger at her cheek and grasping her hand. Their skin felt surprising cool against her's.

Sakura could only grumble out a response, which made them even more frantic. "Sabur-!"

"Na... Naruto?" She coughed, finally realizing how dry her throat was. "What happened?"

The man with the strange colored eyes flashed through her mind, and Sakura quickly sat up. Her head began to spin. Someone put a hand on her shoulder, easing her back down.

"Take it easy, Saburo. You have a fever." Naruto gave her a lopsided smile before looking off to the side. He nodded.

Someone else stepped up to the opposite side of Sakura's bed. They didn't grab her hand like Naruto had, or make any gesture to show concern.

Naruto's eyes widened when he looked back over, egging whoever was there to speak.

They sighed. "We know that you disguised yourself to get in." Sakura was surprised to hear the voice of Neji. "You may have had your reasons for sneaking in, but you need to understand how reckless you were being. If it weren't us who had discovered this, you would have been executed without a second thought. And what good would that have done? You shouldn't throw your life away so carelessly."

"Neji..." Naruto shook his head. "She's been through enough. Just let it go."

A quiet whimper made both men look down at the bed. Sakura had her hands in her face. Her shoulders were shaking from her cries, and she coughed from her throat being so dry.

She gasped before crying out, "You don't understand! If I did not stand in for him they would have killed him! There was nothing else I could do!" Her sobs cut through her words. "My brother... I couldn't..."

When Sakura had finally calmed, Neji asked, "Where is your brother now?" He did not look at her.

"I don't know."

"I see."

"Where's Kiba and Sasuke?" Sakura wanted to change the subject before they inquired her about her decisions any further. She did not want to think of her brother right now.

Neji scrunched his nose like he used to when the other soldiers would remove their boots. "Kiba is keeping Sasuke away. If Sasuke finds out, don't even _think_ he'll let you off the hook."

"As soon as you're feeling better, you have to get as far away as you can." Naruto had found a spot on the floor to be particularly interesting and stared intently at it.

Neji didn't elaborate on it, and Sakura made no reply. The three allowed the silence to linger, feeling that it spoke clearer than any words could.

Sakura tested her strength by pushing herself into a sitting position, which proved to be much more difficult than she had imagined. Her arms shook under the pressure, but she gritted her teeth and sat up. Both men were watching her now, curious as to what she planned on doing, and surprised that she even had the strength to move. When Sakura pulled her blankets off herself - someone had changed her into a white nightgown, and she really didn't want to know which one - and swung her legs over the edge, Naruto wavered on the thought of helping her, but Sakura shook her head at him, and he backed off. Once on her feet, she had to steady herself with the bed and could only take a few steps at a time.

She stopped before Neji. She looked up at him and mustered a smile. "Thank you." He looked at her as if she had just grown a second head.

"For what?"

"For saving me. For protecting me." Sakura turned to Naruto. "Thank you, too, Naruto."

Scoffing, Neji waved her off. "Don't thank me. This was all Naruto's doing." He turned his head away.

Using the remaining strength she had, Sakura stood on her toes and threw her arms around Neji's neck. He made a choked sound before allowing his arms to hang awkwardly at his sides. Of all things she could have done to him, she hugged him. It was baffling, to say the least.

"Uh... Saburo?"

"My name is Sakura. Promise me you two will be careful?" Sakura said into his shoulder.

Neji sighed. He draped his arms over her, ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest and the way her small form pressed against him.

"You're the one who needs to be careful, Sakura."

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><p><strong>AN: Hope everyone is ok with these changes. I'll be posting the third chapter Friday.**

**Total words: 2273**

_**MaXdana**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me**

**Chapter Three**

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_"The only thing you live to regret are the risks you didn't take."_

Unknown

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"Come again soon, sir." The store clerk, who wore too much perfume for it to be healthy, gave Sakura a flirtatious wink. As she handed off the brown paper bag, Sakura stumbled out the door, almost spilling the contents of the bag all over the floor. That earned a small giggle from the cashier. Sakura simply gritted her teeth and trudged outside.

After recovering from her fever - many thanks to Neji and Naruto for playing nurse for her, even though she had to instruct them how to do the simplest of tasks - Sakura said her heartfelt goodbyes and left for a neighboring village, which was where she was at the moment to grab a few supplies before beginning her journey home. It was Neji who had suggested she continued being "Saburo." He had said something along the lines of, 'It's more dangerous to be a girl traveling alone.' Honestly, Sakura thought that if someone really wanted to do physical harm to her person, they would just do it and not put her gender into consideration.

If Sakura had had her way, Neji or Naruto would have traveled home with her.

Outside in the town, next to a small shop with cakes and many other pastries embellished with colorful icing and chocolates in its window, Sakura placed the brown paper bag onto the ground. She slid her change into her front pocket and began to put her supplies into the pack Neji gave her to use. Neither man was able to retrieve her things: her clothes, medical supplies, blankets. Thankfully, Naruto had clothes she could have, even though they were quite big, and she "borrowed" a few necessities from the inn.

Someone walking by bumped her shoulder, and the red apple Sakura was about to wrap up in a scarf flew out of her hand. It rolled down the road, kicking up dirt as it went, and stopped before a narrow alley between the bakery and another store. The man never looked back. His long, blonde hair brushed against his back as he walked, and both of his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his coat. Sakura eyed him until he turned a corner out of her sight. She huffed irritably before bending down to retrieve her apple.

Before her fingers even grazed its surface, another hand shot out and snagged her snack. Sakura stared at the spot the apple had been just a moment ago, blinked a couple of times, and slowly turned her head towards the alley. The shadows made it hard to see, but she could make out the familiar shape of a man sitting on the ground up against the wall, and his loud munching made it apparent that he was eating – and very much so enjoying – her snack.

Stepping closer, Sakura called out to him. Whether or not he had actually heard her, or was just tuning her out, she had no clue. He made a loud slurping noise and broke off another large chunk of the fruit.

"Hey!" Sakura snapped. "That was_ my_ apple you're eating." The man paused, dropping the core, and shifted forward in his spot. Sakura saw him stiffen, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She took a step back.

"You're-"

The man jumped to his feet. Instead of leaping towards her like she had thought, he drew back, gripping his side and hissing in pain.

"You're that brat from earlier," he bit out. "The one from the woods. You kicked me in the fucking balls and then your god damned friends _attacked_ me." His breathing quickened and he clutched his side even tighter.

When the man began to shuffle closer to Sakura, a loud explosion not far off made the two quickly forget their quarrel. Between the suddenness and the strength of the explosion, Sakura had almost been knocked off her feet. When she glanced back over at the man, she found him awkwardly against the wall on the ground. Another rupture of sound down the road went off, and smoke began to cloud the air. It was close enough that she could feel the Earth quake beneath her feet. Instinctively, Sakura rushed into the street, wanting to know what exactly was going on.

The crowd was rushing past her. All the towns people were in a frenzy, screaming and shoving to get away from the blasts. A few times she had almost been made off with, but it began to thin and she was able to get closer to the source. When the next explosion went off, chunks of nearby buildings crumbled off into the street, sometimes falling onto those who were unlucky enough to be in its path, and vendors' carts flew back as easily as if they were paper. A stray piece that fell off a building flew into Sakura, knocking her into a pile of debris. She felt something warm trail down her arm. After steadying herself, Sakura covered her mouth to prevent inhaling the smoke, as it was much thicker now, and looked down the road.

Though the smoke made her vision hazy, Sakura was able to make out the figure of the man who had shoved past her earlier. He produced an object from his pocket.

"Hmmm. Didn't think I'd see you here, Hidan."

_What did he call me?_

Noticing that he was not looking at her, but_ past_ her, Sakura carefully looked over her shoulder. The man from the alley, presumably Hidan, was standing not far behind. Now that the smoke was clearing and he was in the light, she could see the blood that stained the side of his shirt. Hidan had his hand pressed against his wound, and blood seeped through his stiff fingers. He was much paler than she could recall. When Sakura noticed the beads of sweat that rolled down his face and neck, it was then that she new his wound was infected. It was a surprise he could even manage to stand upright.

The man made a face before looking down at the object he held in his palm. "Well, you look like shit, yeah. Don't tell me it was those soldiers from Konoha who got you." He laughed, and Sakura could visibly see Hidan stiffen.

"You're not here on Pein's orders."

Slipping the object back into his pocket, the man shook his head. "Of course not. I'm here to just have a little fun, yeah. You especially should know how much he disapproves of our 'recreational games'." He raised he brows as he spoke.

Sakura felt her heart clench._ A game? Killing innocent people is just a game to him?_

Hidan took a breath before he asked, "Did you leave?"

"Yes, I left. I'm sure Pein is in a good mood after losing two members, yeah." The man closed the distance between him and Hidan, ignoring Sakura's presence. "I was originally sent to kill you, since Pein knew there was no way you'd come back..."

As they were talking, Sakura glanced at the ground and found a small post from a cart amongst the ruble. The man and Hidan seemed to not be paying her any attention. With her eyes locked on the man's back, Sakura carefully picked up the piece of wood. Rocks and shards of building materials were disturbed as she pulled her piece free, but neither of the men seemed to have noticed.

When the post was over her head, Hidan looked up briefly. Sakura's breath caught in her throat, but he made no motion to the other man. Hidan looked away and Sakura swung as hard as she could. When the post was about to make contact with the man's head, his hand quickly snatched the other end.

Sakura felt her heart start to race when she couldn't pull the post free from his grip.

"There's a reason why I was in the Akatsuki, yeah. Do not underestimate me." He yanked the chunk of wood from Sakura's grasp. She tried to dodge his blow, but he managed to hit her across the head, and Sakura found herself face first in the dirt.

Everything was spinning, and black dots passed in front of her eyes._ Oh, kami_, she thought._ I think I'm going to pass out._ She struggled to get on her hands and knees, but the man kicked her in the side, and Sakura was back on the ground, coughing and gasping. She waited for him to attack again, but he never did. Sakura cracked an eye open.

Hidan was gripping the man's shoulder. "I fucking need that kid, or_ I'm_ gonna die. He's a medic."

The man frowned and hummed to himself. He tossed the post aside and knelt next to Sakura.

"Alright, kid. I need to know – can I trust you?" Sakura just stared. "To pull off what I'm going to do, I need every able body I can get." The man rose to his feet and glanced down at Sakura, who couldn't see his face very clearly from the glare of the sun. "I know you were fighting with Konoha and that you hate the Akatsuki just as much as I do, yeah. I personally don't give a shit what happens to Konoha, or any other village for that matter, but I don't want the Akatsuki after my ass the rest of my life. I give you my word that I won't kill you if you help me take them out." The man turned to Hidan. "Same goes to you. I've never really liked you, but I figured you'd agree that they need to go before they cause us any real trouble, yeah."

Hidan scoffed. "Fine. But I swear to Jashin, Deidara, I'll kill you if I have to."

"Fair enough, yeah." Deidara tapped Sakura with his shoe. "And you? Hmmm?"

With her head finally starting to clear, Sakura was able to sit up. She turned to the man and said, "I don't want to be involved in this war any longer. I just want to go home."

This apparently wasn't the answer the man was looking for. "If you decide you don't want to join up with me, I'm going to have to kill you, yeah. I can't risk you reporting me and telling anyone what I have planned." He circled around her. "Then you'll never be able to return home."

Sakura looked down at the ground. She had to go back home, but how could she work alongside two killers? Her hands were tied it seemed.

"Fine. I'll do it." The man, Deidara, was right; there was a reason why he was in the Akatsuki, so it was best to just go along with what he says.

Deidara smirked. "Good, because it looks like reinforcements are on their way."

Hidan swore, and Sakura scrambled to her feet, glancing at Deidara for instructions. Soldiers were nearing from the treeline past the village, and it was already clear that her group was vastly outnumbered. Sakura felt her dagger at her side. She had forgotten the small camp not far into the woods. She had to pass through them before she could get to the town.

"Hidan is in no shape to fight, yeah. There's a stable nearby where we can get some horses." Hidan looked panicked at his words, and Sakura understood why.

"There's no way he'll be able to make it. I'll get the horses, and you stay here with him."

Deidara hesitated. "If you do not come back you'll regret it, yeah."

Sakura only nodded before dashing down the road for the stables. It was not far, and it appeared Deidara never bombed towards this area, but she suspected that. He planned this out perfectly so he would have a means of escape. There were about five horses in all, and a few were spooked from the explosions earlier. Sakura opened their stalls, making sure she was out of their way first, and watched as they galloped away from the town. She wanted to prevent anyone having a way to chase after them. All that she left were two much calmer mares. She chose the chestnut and held the reins of the bay mare as she rode back towards where she left Deidara and Hidan.

As she neared, she felt her heart stop when they were not in sight. After a quick sweep of the area, she found the two ducking behind the remains of a building. Deidara waved her over, and Sakura trotted to them. She handed Deidara the bay's reins. It took them both to get Hidan up on his horse, and it probably took longer than what was necessary since Deidara more than once almost pushed him over the horse completely. Seeing as Hidan could fall off, Sakura had to ride with him. She sat in the front of the saddle with Hidan close behind. She was too small to steer the horse if she were to sit behind him.

When the shouts of the soldiers became more audible, and the sound of the shoes as they pounded into the ground began to ring in their ears, they rode off. Deidara lead the way down the dirt path. He'd glance back every now and then, and when he noticed the soldiers were no longer in sight he smirked.

Deidara called back at Sakura, "I never got your name, yeah!"

"It's Saburo!" she shouted back. She couldn't hear him, but Deidara chuckled to himself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I had always planned adding Deidara in, and I thought this was the perfect place to do so. Hope you all like these changes. And thank you for being so patient with me -3- I'll do my best from now on the update sooner.**

**I sat and stared at the publish button for like a half hour before I could actually press it... Ugh.**

**Total Words: 2250**

_**MaXdana**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me**

**Chapter Four**

+H+T+K+K+

"_Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."_

Wayne Dyer

+H+T+K+K+

Even after they were out of reach of the town, and certain they were no longer being perused, they continued to ride on as fast as their horses could take them. Deidara strayed from the path that extended from the village, and Sakura did her best to keep up. It was clear to her who the better rider was, as they were now riding over terrain that had been left untouched.

The winter had long since passed, and the Earth had become soft from the melted snow and ice. Deidara and Sakura had to be careful and avoid any muddy patches for the horses, since they did not have the proper tools to clean them off if they were to get dirty. Luckily for them, there had been no rain showers since spring began. It had given the soil time to dry up slightly, but the clouds overhead were full from water and dark in color. Sakura hoped it would pass by.

It was more of a hassle to keep Hidan in the saddle when they were on no clear path. There were a couple of times that Sakura felt him sliding sideways, and she had to quickly pull him back into place. As time went on, he seemed to have less and less control over his body. When she thought he had finally settled in, Sakura felt arms wrap around her middle. She nearly fell off the horse herself from being so startled. A quick look at Hidan made it clear he was out of it, and most likely unaware of what he was doing.

_That's not good..._

Sakura managed to catch up to Deidara so she could ride alongside him. "I think we need to rest for awhile! Hidan isn't doing well, and the horses need a break!"

With a nod, Deidara brought his horse to a walk. Sakura followed suit.

Deidara pointed towards the forest. "There's a river that runs alongside those woods."

"Shouldn't we try to make it to the next town? To an inn?"

Brushing his bangs out of his eyes, Deidara looked back at Hidan who had his head resting on Sakura's back – Sakura was leaning as far forward as she possibly could in the saddle. "Trust me when I say that Hidan recovers much more quickly than a normal person, yeah. He'd be fine if he weren't being so stubborn."

Sakura had been trying to figure out what Deidara had meant earlier as she prepared some cloths to clean Hidan up with. The cloths were torn pieces of their clothing, she had no medicine, or even alcohol to disinfect his wound, and she had no way of boiling the water first. As a medic, this was incredibly frustrating for her.

Before Sakura began to prepare to treat Hidan, Deidara had noticed her hesitation as they set him against a tree closest to the water. He thought it was odd that Saburo, a medic, seemed more preoccupied with taking care of the horses rather than a patient.

Deidara stood beside her as she gave her horse some water. "I don't know what happened between the two of you," he began, patting her horse on the neck, "but I need you to at least go through the motions of treating a patient. Hidan doesn't actually need treatment."

"It wouldn't take a professional to take one look at him and know he most likely isn't going to pull through. You know that, yet you keep speaking as if Hidan has some magical healing ability."

Deidara's jaw hardened. "I think I've been reasonable up until now, yeah. You're in no position to argue with me, and I don't know what gave you that idea. You're here because I decided to let you live, and I could use your help. Either you come over when you're ready to do as I say, or I decide how to dispose of you. Hmmm." With that, he walked over to Hidan, who was propped up against a tree like a rag doll, and Deidara was doing his best to keep him from tipping over.

It took Sakura a moment before she could move. Her legs felt unsteady and her head felt light. Deidara's words made it clear to her the position she was in. There was still a chance for her to make a run for it, but she thought back to the object he kept hidden in his pocket. He wouldn't have to get close to her if he wanted to kill her.

When she calmed down a little, she came to Hidan's side. Before she pulled Hidan's shirt open with trembling hands, she looked up at Deidara, who seemed to be pleased with her decision. She turned away and looked down at Hidan's wound and gasped. While it didn't appear to be too deep, he had let it go far too long without any medical treatment and it had grown swollen and inflamed. Puss oozed from the outer corners, and it looked like he hadn't even bothered to clean out the dirt.

"What were you thinking?" Sakura shook her head. Before getting to work, she rolled her sleeves up so they'd be out of the way, and pushed her hair back into her hat. She carefully began to clean around the wound, making sure she changed cloths regularly and washed them thoroughly in the river.

Occasionally, Sakura would hear a hiss from Hidan, and she would instinctively look up. His violet eyes looked down on her harshly, but he made no protest as she continued her work. Deidara was quiet. Every now and then, Sakura would sneak a glance, but he never looked at her. His eyes were fixated on Hidan's pendant. Sakura, of course, recognized it from her first encounter with Hidan, but was curious as to why Deidara seemed so interested in it. He didn't look to be into that kind of thing.

Clearing her throat first, Sakura quietly asked, "Why do you keep looking at that?" She motioned to Hidan's neck.

"I'm just trying to figure out why he hasn't used it yet, yeah." Deidara reached over and pulled it off Hidan's chest. Apparently Hidan was conscious enough to realize what Deidara was doing and swatted his hand away.

"You say 'use it' as if it were a tool." Sakura stood up to head to the river once again.

"Hmmm. I guess, in a sense, it is." Deidara nudged Hidan's head with his elbow. "What happened all of a sudden, yeah? Not on good speaking terms with your god?"

Sakura kept a close eye on the two as she washed the cloths, curious to see what they would do. When Hidan spoke up, she had to strain her ears a bit to hear him.

"I might have done something that pissed him off..."

"Why don't you just ask for his forgiveness, yeah?" Deidara raised a brow questioningly.

Hidan pursed his lips before grumbling, "It's not something I can do right now!" He winced and clutched his side.

"Why not, yeah?"

Hidan didn't answer. He leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes.

Deidara stroked his chin and examined Hidan's injury. "Hmmm. This looks pretty serious. You could actually die this time, yeah."

"Like you actually give a damn."

Deidara smirked. "I don't, yeah. But _you_ do." He jabbed a finger at Hidan's head.

Hidan tried to shove Deidara away with what little strength he had left. Realizing that that was a bad move, Hidan hunched over mumbling to himself. When the pain eased, he pulled gently at the cord around his neck till it gave. He placed his necklace on his opposite side away from Deidara.

"Seems like I don't have much of a fucking choice."

Deidara had already been walking towards Sakura. "Fine. Lets go, Saburo. Give him some time on his own, yeah."

"But, I still haven't-" Deidara had grabbed Sakura by the elbow, despite her protests that she was capable enough to walk on her own, and began pulling her towards their camp where the horses were kept. It was further within the woods where the light was thin and the sun couldn't dry the ground. When they reached their camp, Deidara carelessly pushed her into a tree. He sat down at the base of another directly across from her.

Sakura's fists balled at her sides. "If you want my help you should listen to me! We need to go to the next town so I can get proper supplies to treat him. He's going to die if-"

"I told you already, yeah. Hidan will be fine once he prays to his god."

"Praying isn't going to do anything!" Sakura snapped.

Deidara sighed irritably. "Jashin isn't like any other god, and Hidan isn't just any other follower, yeah. I've seen it happen before. He prays to his god, makes a blood sacrifice, and he's healed. I don't know how it works, but that's all I know and all I can tell you, yeah. Don't tell Hidan I told you anything," he warned.

It was a farfetched for Sakura, but Deidara seemed to believe it, so she guessed she would have to as well. "Ok. I won't say anything."

Deidara crossed his arms and tilted his head back against the tree's trunk. "Hmmm. You've got to promise."

"I promise, alright?" Sakura plopped down with a frown onto the ground and instantly regretted it. The forest floor was soaked.

"Ugh!" She sprung back onto her feet. Sakura tried wiping her pants dry in vain. Curious as to why Deidara didn't seem phased, Sakura looked towards his bottom and found him sitting on his saddle blanket. He smirked at her.

"We'll be spending the night here, yeah. You'll want to get comfortable."

Sakura made a face before going to her horse to retrieve her own blanket.

+H+T+K+K+

When Sakura woke, night had fallen. The hum of crickets filled the air, and a cool breeze rustled the leaves overhead. Deidara never lit a fire – the wood in the area was too damp and he didn't want to risk it being seen. Rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm up, Sakura stumbled towards the river. The light from the moon strained its way trough the dense foliage. The further she went, the outlines of the trees became more clear to her, and soon enough she was out of the woods.

Sakura initially thought she'd be able to clean up a little now that they were asleep, but when she looked ahead to where the river laid, she saw Hidan standing in its current. He had removed his blood stained shirt and rolled his pants to his knees. The way he was turned made it impossible for Sakura to see if his wound had actually healed, but she was worried that if she moved he'd hear her. So Sakura remained still, silently observing Hidan.

It had been after a few minutes of watching Hidan just stand there in the current and occasionally splashing water in his face that Sakura figured it was best to just go back to sleep. It was apparent that Hidan wasn't planning on doing anything. Before she turned away, Hidan turned to face the moon, and Sakura very clearly saw that his wound had completely healed.

The sight made her mind run a blank._ How could what Deidara had said earlier be true?_ She frantically looked around for Hidan's pendant and found it laying besides the tree she had left him at earlier. Dried blood was smeared across its silver finish. Sakura's heart was drumming in her chest.

_I should probably leave before he notices I'm here._

Sakura had carefully made her way back. Once she found her tree, she curled up into a ball and closed her eyes, trying to focus on the chirps of the crickets.

Evidently, she was not destined to get a wink of decent sleep that night, Sakura thought miserably. It looked like Deidara had not moved at all since she last saw at him. At least he looked more comfortable than she felt. He had one knee against his chest, and both arms were wrapped around him tightly since his only blanket was shielding him from the wet ground.

Sakura began to stand when she heard a noise come from the deeper end of the woods. She quickly crouched down.

"Deidara..." Sakura grabbed a twig next to her foot and threw it at Deidara's arm. "Please wake up," she pleaded. When he didn't budge, Sakura began to creep towards him.

Someone knocked her hard onto the ground after she took a few steps. Sakura's heart almost leapt out her chest, and her body was shaking so much that she was having a hard time controlling herself.

"G-get off me!" she shrieked, flailing her arms and legs in a desperate attempt to protect herself. A foot planted itself firmly into her stomach. Sakura gasped and sputtered. With the wind knocked out of her, she could only look up to see who her attacker was.

Hidan's beautiful pale face was grinning down at her. His eyes were no longer the purple she couldn't get out of her mind, but a deep shade of maroon. Resting against his leg was his sword. He brought it forward and placed the tip on the hollow of her throat.

"Please... don't."

Hidan's lip curled into a smile before he plunged the blade deep into her throat.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry this chapter is so short .-. I promise the next one will be much longer. I'm already working on five, and I hope I can post that in a week or two... most likely two. Let me know what you're thinking – I love hearing from you guys :) It helps me get ideas as to what I should put into future chapters.**

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited or put this fic in their alerts. Special thanks to YouStoleMySocks and misscheekiness.**

**Total words: 2255**

_**MaXdana**_


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